Christmas Traditions

Now that we have a family, we are trying to solidify our meaningful Christmas traditions.

This winter, my bride and I discovered that we have the following traditions, firmly rooted in our six years of marriage:
1. Christmas photo (usually collage) and Christmas letter (in newsletter form, not just well-wishing)
2. Gifts
3. Stockings on the mantle for each family member

Now with children, we are trying to establish some more:
4. Christmas tree plus busting out the ornaments and lights
5. Christmas lights for the house
6. Advent
7. Singing Christmas carols as a family at least once a day every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas
8. Reading the Christmas story on Christmas Eve
9. Opening gifts on Christmas day
10. Family Christmas photo

Here are some that we've toyed with the last couple of years:
11. Christmas feast - prime rib, of course
12. Traveling

Some fragments of tradition from our childhood:
13. Extended family celebration and gifts on Christmas Eve: Christmas day for nuclear family
14. Christmas Sunday service / Christmas Mass

And finally, we're not sure how we're going handle the Santa Claus tradition.

I propose that all of our traditions should flow from the reason for the season. Hopefully we're not too far off the mark.

What are your Christmas traditions?

Santa is a Woman

Have you ever heard somebody say God might be a woman?

Personally I don't really care whether or not God really is a woman because I don't think God is limited categorically to gender.

I'm sure you've met people that really do think God 1. is female or 2. is not male. I don't think I've ever heard anybody claim that Santa might be a woman. Why do you suppose that is? I might be going out on a limb here, but I feel like those who assert that God could be a woman probably don't take the same stance on the possibility of Santa being a woman. I also feel and think but have no data to assert that those who take issue with God's sex probably don't feel that there even is a God, or that if there is one, it is not defined by the Bible or Christianity, and thus is just as much a mythological creature as Santa. So it is on this assumption that I say, "Santa is a girl." So it wouldn't be the same discussion if we were to agree that God is the God of the Bible (and thus our conversation regarding his gender-like aspects are simply you and I trying to better see God's face) while Santa is the male icon created by several hundred years of secular Christmas tradition.

Strange thoughts to have running through my mind on Christmas Eve...

Perspective

Do you ever look at somebody and suddenly consider him or her in eternal light?

I have found that playtime with the kiddos consists of kids playing, me watching. So during this inactive time my thoughts wander. Last time it suddenly struck me that God created Pineapple to serve Him. Of course, He created all of us to serve Him. It's just that in the busy-ness of everyday activity, it's easy to lose sight of the big picture. It's like I suddenly flip a switch and I realize how much more precious and sacred this little person is in God's eyes. I wish I could always think and do and love with this switch in the "on" position.

In the same stream of consciousness: parable of the talents. Having trouble explaining the connection. Signing off for now. Merry Christmas Eve!

Spiritual Resonance

I don't connect with all Christians I meet.

I think this is the strangest thing because if we are all bathed and renewed in the Holy Spirit then why wouldn't we connect? More on this in a moment...

Mostly this realization has caused me to deeply value meaningful Christian friendships. In fact, it was you, a handful of my friends, that were the first to know of this blog. I feel safe revealing my deeper thoughts to you because I experience spiritual resonance with you.

What is spiritual resonance? This is probably a term somebody else has already invented but I promise you, I didn't know about it and I don't want to know about it because I want to claim it for my own purposes. Spiritual resonance is the feeling of transparency and authenticity I feel when I communicate with you about our world views as Jesus-followers. We understand each other. We may have different experiences and walks in life but we know that we are reading from the same Book and drinking from the same Spirit. We have different interests and personalities and goals in life and family demographics and we are heavenly siblings already; we have a glimpse of heaven and God's Glory on earth now because God has put you in my life.

Now why is it that I do not have spiritual resonance with every Christian?

1 Corinthians 12? Am I a hand? Eyeball? Ear? Hair follicle? Do I get along with you because I am the finger and you are the palm? Maybe I don't understand the eye so I don't perceive this authenticity and transparency.

Genesis 3? Is our separation from God the culprit? We are fatally flawed. Maybe yours & my flaws are conveniently aligned in such a way that they don't interfere with our appreciation of each other in Christ. In the case of uncomfortable acquaintances, our flaws are conveniently misaligned, and our faults cause us not to be transparent or authentic.

Time seems to change spiritual resonance. I have found that once I have it, it doesn't go away. And, I didn't have spiritual resonance with you from the first, but I do now. I didn't seek it consciously. Surely God orchestrates this wonderful blessing, in the time and way that gives you and I our greatest sense of Him in each other.

My Opinion

I think the problem with my opinion is that I think it's flawless.

Lately I've had a real hard time understanding other people's actions. I figure the root of this misunderstanding is my failure to understand their perspective. Perhaps if I understood their perspective, then I would understand their actions, then I really would have a flawless opinion.

For example, I often find myself wondering the following:
- Why do people tailgate? Do they think I am going slow? Do they think I will go faster if they ride my bumper? Do they expect me to pull over so they can pass? Do they not know the rules for following? Are they on the phone and thus distracted, braking only to avoid hitting me? Maybe I'm the tailgater. Maybe everybody just looks closer in my rearview mirror than it looks from me to the car ahead of me.
- Why do people flick their cigarette butts out of their car? Wouldn't one's motivation for not leaving their cigarette butt in their ashtray be because it is trash and it would clutter their car? Is the world their trashcan? Aren't they just cluttering the world by throwing it outside? Maybe they think "Oh, it's biodegradable." You could say the same thing about a McDonald's bag but we don't want it sitting there for 20 years biodegrading, do we?

Here are some other topics for which I eagerly anticipate the day I can engage someone who has a differing opinion.
- Kids & television. Kids & sugar. Kids & fast food.
- Taxes that disproportionately take rich people's money.
- Abortion.
- The origin of life.
- Bias in news.
- Debt.
- God.
- Jesus the Messiah.
- Gun control.
- War.
- Socialism without Jesus.

"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven." Luke 6:37

I found out a long time ago on a personality test that I am "judger." I am hypercritical of myself and of other people. I view this as a vice. However, I also know that some aspect of my critical nature is something God intended for me to use for good and not evil. Of course, prayer is a critical step in refining my thought-life. I also view my understanding of other people's perspective as a path to recovery. Someday I hope to have a patient, well-rounded flawless opinion from being fully informed and from fully understanding others' perspectives.

Facing Fears

I noticed that when I put my tickle face on, Pineapple flees giggling but she cannot help but look over her shoulder to see if the tickling is imminent. Of course when she checks six she starts veering off into the wall and tripping over her own feet. So she has taken to actually turning around and backing up slowly while she guards vulnerable armpits. Naturally I would love to get video or a picture of this but since I am the tickle monster it is hard to do.

Anyway, the philosophical leap I was going to make with this observation is our own human nature regarding fear. Is it too much to theorize that if I was afraid of something that I would rather turn around and meet it squarely, at the exclusion of other threats? In Pineapple's case she is avoiding something, the nature of which is very predictable and expected, yet not afraid of the tripping or banging into the wall, both of which are not as predictable, will hurt more, and unexpected.

Does our flight from our known fears, or facing them down, cause us to ignore more important issues in our environment?

Pink & Ponies Continued

I am remiss in failing to mention a few key women in my last post.

My wonderful bride. The girls' grandmothers. The girls' great-grandmothers (of whom I really only know one well - my paternal grandmother).

These God-fearing women will be amazing examples for my girls.

I just don't see the bridge between here and there. I envision my girls growing to be little replicas of their mother. I don't know how to nurture the development. Does it happen naturally? What is my role in this process?

So far, I've found my actions to be instinctive. I pray and act in faith. I trust that I am the father God deigned for these little ones.

But it's easy now. Diapers need changing. Babies are fed & held. I am the safety expert for installing car seats. I am wary of crazy drivers.

Scarier to me is their transition from childhood to adulthood. I want to grow now in preparation.

Princesses, Purple, Ponies

I am now the proud father of two little girls.

Now I will have to start considering parenting girls seriously. I was thinking that if Mango had been a boy, the plan could be that I do the boy stuff and my bride can work on the girl stuff.

Well, I won't have the chance to test that plan. However, I have no reference point for the task at hand. My youngest sister is 10 years older than me. Most of my siblings have had boys for children. I did not witness the child-rearing of my 2 nieces and they are now adults. I am a pioneer in uncharted territory.

Reference Parent Prayers. Now I have two more things to ask God for my children. #1 not crazy about boys. #2 Not to turn out like Brittany Spears.

God reveals to us the type of people we are to be in His Word. I feel it His guidance is generally generic to human beings, but there are some specifics for girls. For now this is what comes to mind:


Genesis 2
Proverbs 31
Esther
Naomi
Ruth
Mary the mother of Jesus
Martha's sister Mary
1 Timothy 2:9-15

Who will I be as a father? What example will I be for my children? How will I grow each of them in God?

"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.' "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'" Matthew 25: 22-23

Good thing God's in control

This is going to be my ongoing forum describing answered prayers and God's obvious hand in my life.


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Oct 2008 RE: Apr 2008 - IDE. My friend, who was selected during our major's board for school (i.e. "school select") gets a spot in muggy Alabama starting next year. He is not pleased. Me: hmmm, maybe that school thing wasn't such a great deal anyway. The MAN doesn't really care what I want to do.

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Saturday, October 25, 2008 Amazed. Sitting down for breakfast with my bride, calm 21 month old, and sleeping 1 month old. Actually have time to do dishes and chill out before getting ready to go to church.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008 Sad that my parents are leaving. Fearful that my bride and I will have overwhelming difficulties parenting 21-month and 1-month old children by ourselves - worse - my wife by herself while I return to work. Plead in prayer that God will give her peace, us communication and determination, and our children willing and easy spirits.

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25 Sep 08 Mango born.

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24 Sep 08 Me: On flight to Tucson.

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20 Sep 08 Not scheduled at work. Arrange to return from Poland even earlier.

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1 Sep 08 Looks like I will return from Poland early - scheduled 27 Sep 08.

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Aug 08 Meet with Christian friends that are stationed in Germany. Never would have happened if me and family hadn't gone to Poland.

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May 2008 Employer: want to go to Poland? YES, YES YES! Return date: Oct 1, 2008. Baby due date: Oct 2, 2008. Bride: GO GO GO! [praying fervently]

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Apr 2008 Boss: are you done with Intermediate Developmental Education in correspondence? Me: no, but I can be. Work furiously, complete remainder of 1.5 year program in only 3 weeks. The completion of this IDE means that I may be competitive for an international or joint IDE in a really cool location like Australia or Thailand or Chile. Boss of boss: you're not good enough. Better luck next time. God's plan: TBD.

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Jan 2008 Pregnant again!

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Fall 2007 My first college roommate leaves Tucson after living there for a long time. I finally get here and the USAF reassigns him. Conclusion: TBD

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April 2007 Me: arrive Tucson. Hear about opportunity to go to Poland. Volunteer wildly. Denied. Multiple times despite vacancies. Conclusion: God doesn't want me to go to Poland.

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January 2007 Me: scheduled to start training course in Phoenix just after my bride's due date. Nearly one month of down time, time spent continuously with the bride I haven't lived with for 3.5 years. Uh-oh. Baby hasn't arrived. Start training. 1 week later, baby born. Employer gives me a week off.

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Fall 2006 Me: assigned to Tucson. Commander: I didn't think we could get you that assignment. [said: you weren't my #1 on this VML] Conclusion: God must have had something to do with it.

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Summer 2005 Wife pregnant. Wow! Great! Now we live 800 miles apart. Hmmm... First college roommate and his bride welcome my bride with open arms.

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Fall 2005 Wife: assigned to Tucson. This is where my first college roommate and his bride are stationed.

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November 2002 Me: assigned follow-on: F-16. Not my first choice. Silly. God: this assignment offers me and my bride the geographically closest permanent duty locations that two pilots in this stage of their careers could have (400 miles).

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Sep 2002 Me: Ask love of my life to marry me. 2 weeks later: she is assigned to same duty station as me. Conclusion: glad God has a plan, don't know what it is.

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May 2000 Me: reassigned as FAIP. Dejected, demoralized, depressed. 1.5 years later: meet future bride.

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May 1998 Me: not medically qualified to be a pilot. USAF: Chief of Staff signs waiver for me to be medically cleared to enter pilot training. Conclusion: well, I guess I'll be a pilot.

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1997 First college roommate has huge breakthrough in personal relationship with Christ. Becomes my best friend. Felt like I never did not have a best friend at AFA.

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1994 Met first college roommate. He is Puerto Rican from Pennsylvania. Has lots of nosebleeds from altitude. We get beat together for always being late. I stand behind him in formation because he is 1/4" taller than me. He is Catholic. I will pray for him.

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May 1994 Me: not medically qualified to go to the AFA. USAF: medical waiver for me to attend AFA. Conclusion: God wants me to go to AFA.

Kid Shield

Worship.

It seems to me that one of the biggest differences between Christian denominations is the style of worship.

When I attend a new church [to me], I look closely at the core beliefs of the congregation. If I detect any deviations from scripture, I am immediately suspicious. Actually, not just suspicious - I typically reject the premise of the entire church outright.

If the assembly has survived this purely subjective but thoughtful test of merit, I try to keep an open mind to the musical portion of worship. Typically I find that in large churches, the music is pretty good. You might have found the same as I in small churches: there is perhaps one person with some musical talent and several others who don't have much talent at all. Since I regularly listen to Air 1, KLove, The Effect Radio, and M88 , and I haven't yet answered God's calling for me to music, I don't find myself too critical.

What I do find extremely strange is my social response. I'm talking about the anxiety I feel when I might be doing or not doing something that I think somebody else may think I should be doing/not doing. In any given setting, there may be people standing, sitting, clapping, not clapping, swaying, bobbing, tapping, raising arms, or one arm, or two hands slightly uplifted, with them facing outward, or upward, or arms folded, or hands resting firmly on the back of the chair in front, and eyes open or closed but not winking. I've seen people dancing, and heard people singing off key or speaking in tongues. My social response? I am happy to participate in all of these things, just as long as I don't feel uncomfortable.

Of course that is absolutely ridiculous. The unblemished live wire between me and God, the blood of Jesus Christ my Savior, should so overwhelm me that I would care less about the thoughts (regarding me) of people around me. Yet I care, and I'm not happy about it. I think I can thank American culture for my social programming of conformity. Or perhaps it is human nature or just my personality. I admire my best friend for singing slightly off-key at the top of his lungs during worship. I don't even know what's going on between him and God, I just like that he doesn't seem to care what somebody might think of him.

In lieu of a healthier spirit of worship, God has given me children. It seems this spiritual disability of mine is quickly remedied by the presence of a 20lb human sponge who's fragile existence has been entrusted to me. Powered by fatherhood, I can sway, lift an arm (but not both hands raising Pineapple heavenward - that would be crossing the line, plus my wife would be overly concerned about a likely squirm but improbable 8-foot fall), and sing quite nearly at the top of my lungs in the prayer that my little girls will one day freely and fiercely worship the Almighty.

I admit, the kid shield is a cure for the symptoms, not for the illness. But I am thankful.

Parent Prayers

Is there an exhaustive prayer list of things that we should ask of God for our children?

When Pineapple was in utero, I just had one prayer. A healthy baby. He answered that one.

With Mango on the way, my daily list is up to at least five items. Every day I would like to add more, but I don't because... ... ... would the list ever end? Could I ever stop asking God for blessings for my children? Of course not. But I think you could probably come up with "The Top 5." Here are mine.

1. Saved

2. A Saved Spouse

3. Healthy
4. Good Choices
5. A Contributing Member of Society

Strangely, I have recently added "Loves their siblings." Inexplicably, it just suddenly occurred to me one day. It must have something to do with lots of conflict with my brother as a youth, and a great relationship with him now.

The list goes on.

What are your top 5?

Kid Verses

I have a daydream of my little girl running around quoting John 3:16 in between singing the ABCs.

So, I want to write a book. Actually, not write it, just plagiarize the Bible.


In this book, I want to organize Bible verses for my children to commit to memory. For we know that "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." II Timothy 3:16-17


I hope for my children to develop a conscience framed by God's Word (rather than this world) well before they begin to understand the words themselves. "Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it." Joshua 1:8


Or should I say, I would like them to internalize scripture before they grow up and forget their awesome understanding of God's Love. ""I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3-4


Here are some verse ideas I have so far (ordered only in the sequence they came to me, and probably more for me at 32 years old rather than my little girl):


James 1:19-20
Psalm 23
Ephesians 6:1-3 (but not 4 :) )
Ephesians 6:10-20
Philippians 4:4-8
Exodus 20:1-17
1 Corinthians 13:1-8
Matthew 5:3-12


Pray on it and post your suggestions.