In Jesus' Name

I am torn about exercising the power of Jesus' name.

Matthew 17 says that if we have faith even as small as a mustard seed, that we can move mountains!

John 14 says that we will do even greater works than Jesus!

John 16 says that the Father will give us whatever we ask for in Jesus' name!

When I was a youngster, I stood in church and listening to the worship team, I believed that if I prayed for healing in Jesus' name that God would heal my eczema. God did not heal me.

Since He didn't heal me, I resolved that God was showing me how Jesus felt when He prayed in the garden. I started praying for healing if it was God's will. In fact, at 8 years old, I identified even more with Jesus, thinking I might have a mild case of stigmata as my eczema outbreaks seemed isolated to my wrists and ankles. The blood in my wrists surged more as I prayed for this little bit of healing. I was not healed.

If you read my post Good Thing God's in Control then you should know eczema was the medical issue that threw my future into doubt when I applied for the Academy.

Today I don't have any eczema. It occasionally flares up in specific circumstances.

I believe that while God hasn't completely heal me, this life isn't over yet and eczema served to reveal His power in my life, Praise God. Kind of reminds me of Paul.

Nonetheless, this issue established for me a status quo for the power of my faith in prayer. In short, I believe my prayer has no power, only that I might make requests that might already line up with God's plan.

Abraham's prayer actually changed God's mind in the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. He is not the only example of someone who changed God's mind.

"... in Jesus' name, Amen," is my family's most common conclusion to spoken prayer. More recently I reflected that I cannot simply say "God please... blah blah blah... in Jesus' name, Amen," that to ensure God hears and acquiesces to my prayer, that my heart's intent must be in Jesus' name. This would, as an example, prevent me from asking God for a Lamborghini in Jesus' name, or believing that He might actually arrange for me to own a Lamborghini.

I am concerned about the future. There are things I want for myself and my family. God tells me not to worry about tomorrow. I stop, I pray that I do not worry, I find peace, and I end up... concerned. I don't think I fret, I just think, and plan. As I do this I don't believe God always gives me clarity about the future. Often I think I shall just copy Gideon and bust out the fleece.

This is why I'm torn. I want to pray; God wants me to converse with Him. I want to pray for what I want, but I want to pray for it in Jesus' name. Sometimes I must make choices and I don't know the best one. I may know what I want but I don't know if it's what God wants. If I check my heart and believe that I am praying in Jesus' name, I find my heart reveals what I want, and I don't know if that's what God wants. Then I think He must be leaving it up to me. In the silence of His voice, He is telling me it doesn't matter what I choose: He will be glorified. So I decide to pray for what I want.

The best example I can think of is praying for someone who has cancer. How do you pray for someone who has cancer? That God will heal them if it is His will in Jesus' name?

Now, the rub. If I pray in Jesus' name, it shall be granted. But the eczema thing shows me God won't answer in the way or when I expect. Between now and then I call into question the power of my faith and even worse, the power of God to answer prayer. I suppose I will have to accept Hebrews 11:13.